


Waking Up

by ErinSydneyBVB



Category: Black Veil Brides
Genre: Abandonment, Anxiety, BVB, BVB army, Best Friends, Coma, Depression, F/M, Hospitalization, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Suicide, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-03
Updated: 2014-07-03
Packaged: 2018-02-07 07:08:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,700
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1889613
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ErinSydneyBVB/pseuds/ErinSydneyBVB
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>You're CC's girlfriend and best friend to all of Black Veil Brides and they're with you in the hospital after yet another suicide attempt. (trigger warning)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Waking Up

You blinked a couple times and opened your eyes to the fuzzy, bright world. There was an intense ache in the back of your head and in your arms, and your throat was painfully dry. White bandages snaked up your forearm, from your wrist to your elbow, and an IV was placed carefully into your upper arm. You blinked a few more times before things came into focus and you saw the all too familiar sight of a white, sterile hospital room. In the corner, folded on a chair, you saw a black pile of leather that resembled Andy’s jacket. 

You scooted over onto your side a little and saw a dixie cup on a bedside tray, the brim covered in plastic wrap. Water. You reached for it and ripped the plastic off savagely before gulping it all down as fast as possible. It was cold and refreshing and instantly relieving. 

You heard a familiar voice speak your name and you turned in the direction of the doorway to see Ashley and CC standing there with white Starbucks cups. 

“You’re awake,” CC whispered in amazement.

“Thank god,” said Ashley.

“What happened?” You asked, your voice gravely and rough.

“You um…” Ashley took a few steps forward to sit in a chair beside your bed and set down his cup on the small bedside table. CC stood behind him. “You tried to kill yourself.”

“Last night?” You reached up to rub your aching head. Your memory was clouded.

“Five days ago…” CC murmured. “They pumped your stomach and patched you up but…”

Ashley sighed and took over when CC started to choke up. “They weren’t sure if they made it in time. They had no idea how long you had been laying there before you were found. They said there was a possibility you wouldn’t wake up.” 

“Well…” you sigh, “I’m here.” 

“I’m so glad you’re okay,” Ashley reached into your bed and held your cold hand. CC was crying; Ash looked down into his lap. “CC found you. At three in the morning, lying bloody in your bathroom. We had all just flown in but when we got the call, we were down here immediately.”

“Thank you,” you murmured. You weren’t sure if you were thanking Ashley for the sentiment or CC for saving you, but you felt like it needed to be said. 

CC was your boyfriend. You’d been together for a year and a half and before that, the two of you had been best friends for many years. You were extremely close with the whole band. They were your best friends and nothing could ever change that. They all knew you had a bad history with self harm and suicide attempts, but they thought you were better- you thought you were better. While they were on tour, though, things had gotten a lonely. Your bed was cold without CC. Your nights were longer and darker. The days were cloudy and grey in wintery California without your five best friends to help you out. They had just gotten home on the night of your attempt.

“You really don’t remember anything, do you?” Ashley asked. You shook your head. “Apparently you were intoxicated. You took an insane amount of sleeping pills and slashed your wrists open… it was ugly. We were all so so worried about you. I mean you don’t have to talk about it just yet if you don’t want to but do you remember… why you did it?” 

You thought about it. You still had your rough memories but your life was good at the moment. You had an incredible boyfriend and many amazing friends- among which were the five boys you loved most in the world. There was still lingering depression and insomnia since you had stopped taking your medication, especially over the last several weeks. You had been feeling lost and alone, needing your boys while they were on tour. You remembered feeling neglected and tired of your boyfriend being gone nine months out of the year. You shuddered softly. You couldn’t tell CC that. He would beat himself up about it too much. Besides, you knew it was only temporary. Why would you have tried to kill yourself over it? You shook your head no and suggested that something bad must’ve surfaced when you were drunk.

Soon, the other three guys came into the room, holding subway bags. 

“Outside food!” Andy cheered loudly with a smile. “No dry hospital sandwiches for us today! Oh, real food, how I’ve missed you-” he stopped short in his tracks, staring at you, as did Jinxx and Jake. 

“She’s awake,” Jake stated flatly, amazed and shocked.

“I-I’ll go get a nurse!” Jinxx said, urgently.

“Wait!” CC stopped him before he reached the door. “Not yet. She’s been through enough, she doesn’t need to be interrogated just yet. Besides, she doesn’t even remember anything…”

“Damn,” Andy started fishing through the bags. “I’m starving, I haven’t eaten anything but hospital food all week… Would’ve gotten you something but I was under the impression you were in a coma… also I’m not sure you’re allowed to eat outside food-”

“Save it, Andy,” you laughed weakly. “it’s cool. Eat. You know, you didn’t have to stay here…”

“Of course we did,” Andy said as he unwrapped his sandwich and took a huge bite. Jake, Jinxx and Ashley did the same. “Why wouldn’t we?”

“There’s like one chair in here,” you said. “Where did you guys even sleep?”

“Our tour bus downstairs in the parking lot,” Jinxx interjected.

“See?” Andy smirked. “We’re here for you a hundred percent. Whether you want us or not.” 

You laughed a little. He said that a lot. 

“What time is it?” you wondered out loud.

Jake glanced at his watch between mouthfuls. “It’s almost 1:30.”

“P.M.?”

“Yeah.”

“Oh ok. Cool. Um… Can somebody get me a nurse?” You tapped your nails against the plastic railing of the bed idly. “They probably want to know I’m awake…”

“I’ll go,” CC offered. “Do you want anything else? Coffee? Water? Food?”

“Just a nurse, C…” you sighed and he started toward the door. “Thank you.” 

He stopped to say “I love you” before disappearing. 

“Jeez, you did a real number on yourself…” Jinxx spoke up nervously. “I saw the stitches. We all did…”

“Yeah,” you sighed, looking down at your bandaged forearms. “It was actually worse last time.”

They each winced a little and drew back at the reference to the ‘last time.’

“Really,” Jake said. “We were so scared. We thought you might not wake up…”

“Guys, it’s not a big deal, I’m fine…” you tried to reassure them.

“I’m just so glad you’re okay… ” Andy said decisively, right as the nurse and CC entered the room.

“Well!” the short, plump, young nurse exclaimed, snatching your chart from the end of the bed. “We sure have had a rough couple of days, huh? What exactly did you do to yourself, now, miss?”

“I um-”

CC took over, clearly annoyed with the nurse’s demeanor. “She overdosed on sleeping pills and tried to slit her wrists. The cuts are stitched up and her stomach was pumped. The doctor said she should be fine if she wakes up, which she did just a little while ago.”

“Alright,” the nurse said sourly, setting the chart down by your feet. “Just let me check your vitals, sweetheart and I’ll be out of here.”

She sat you up to take your blood pressure and heart rate and carry out some other medical procedures that you’d been through plenty of times before, all the while explaining that the doctor and psychiatrist would be in to ask you some questions soon.

“We just want to make sure you’re… safe.. before you leave here,” she explained sweetly. It was the kind of sweet that was almost grandmotherly and cartoonish. It was kind of gross…

“Thank you,” CC said for you. The nurse left after changing your bandages carefully. The stitches were insane. The gashes went all the way up your arm and were red and angry around the black thread. CC and Ashley had to turn away and Andy pretended to text while Jake and Jinxx watched, looking disgusted the whole time. 

Once the nurse was gone, you spoke up. “I’m really sorry, guys…”

“Don’t be,” Ashley said. “If anything, we should apologize because we didn’t see this coming and help you.” 

“How could you?” you scoffed. “You weren’t even here.”

After a moment of cold silence, CC said, “Is that why you did it?” 

“What?” you said, as if you hadn’t heard him.

“Did you try to kill yourself,” his voice was thick, “because we weren’t here?” 

You looked down into your white-gowned lap and whispered, “Yeah… yeah I guess that is why I did it…”

“God dammit,” CC groaned before sitting in the chair at your bedside. The other guys were either avoiding looking at you or staring, heartbroken. “Next time we go on tour, you’re coming with us. No questions. You don’t have a choice.”

“Shouldn’t you maybe check with your bandmates before you say something like that, CC?” you suggested.

“Don’t be stupid,” Ashley said. “We need you around just as much as you need us.”

“Yeah,” Jinxx agreed. “Not to mention, you make killer grilled cheese..”

You laughed a little. “Thanks, guys, but I’m just not sure…”

“Look,” Ashley said. “As far as I see it, you being around makes everything better. You make us happy. We make you happy. You keep us from doing stupid shit. We keep you safe. Will you please just come on tour with us next time?”

You nodded slowly. “Yeah, sure. But you have to promise that if any of you get sick of me, you’ll send me home. I don’t wanna be a burden.”

“Come on,” CC said. “You’re not a burden. I could never get sick of you.”

You heard murmurs of “yeah” and “me either” from the other guys. 

“I love you,” he looked into your eyes. “And all I want is for you to be safe and happy. Okay?” 

You nodded and he bent over the bed to kiss you. 


End file.
